Babel Clash

I know studies have been done that prove TV rots your brains. People who watch it are less healthy than those who walk around and stuff. I admit it; I love TV and movies.

Sadly, my work schedule doesn’t permit me to watch it much anymore. I never get to watch it live. We TIVO stuff (or the Mexican equivalent) and watch it weeks later when it’s convenient. Technology has definitely changed the way we entertain ourselves. My kids play Angry Birds on their phones. I’m never without a way to check my email. Is this a good thing? Last night, I saw that Skynet was trending on Twitter, because as we all know, today marks the beginning of the end for the human race and the rise of the machines.

On a scale of one to ten, how scared should I be?

But seriously, what’s your favorite Terminator movie? I feel like we should be talking about those films today of all days — what with the rise of Skynet and all. The first one is my favorite. Always will be. I think this is one of the best moments ever in an action movie, and how much did I love Michael Biehn back in the day? (It was a lot.)

Here’s some homage to the franchise.

This is for the ladies. Michael Biehn tribute!

How do you feel about Terminator 5 and the future of the franchise?

Enclave winner: Elaina Watler
Dan Wells winner: evening-green (make sure to tell me which book you want)

Drop me a line at ann.aguirre at gmail dot com with your mailing info, and I’ll hook you up. Now that the niceties are out of the way, we can chat a little.

In an earlier post, we talked about our alien overlords. So I have some questions on that head. Do you believe we’re alone in the universe? Why or why not? My husband is fascinated with ghost shows and ones that feature alleged footage of alien spacecrafts. I watch the shows, but I don’t really share his fascination, at least with the ghost ones. See, I grew up in a haunted house. I usually stop there because there’s eye-rolling and people wait for the punchline. There’s really not one. I don’t care whether people believe me. I know what I’ve seen. And I know there are things that cannot be explained or absolutely refuted with science.

It’s a crazy world.

Which brings me back to the aliens. You’d think that if I believe in ghost, I am automatically on board with the idea of extraterrestrials, right? Shiny tiny foil hat. Maybe some government conspiracies? But I am actually agnostic on the idea of aliens. I love it for spec fic, and I write the hell out of it, but in my own reality, I’m on the fence. Logic tells me that the universe is vast, and it is highly unlikely (and egotistical) to think that humanity is so special that we’re the only ones who have ever crawled out of the primordial ooze. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe, like I have in the paranormal realm.

So what do you guys think? Have you ever encountered a spirit or a weird feeling? Have you ever seen inexplicable lights in the sky? If aliens are real, what do you think they’d be like?

Hi!

I’m actually in a deadline cave right now. It’s dark here, and I can’t find Dan. Or my shoes.

My laptop is at 13% battery right now, which is bad for me. Really, really bad.

But even though I am in dire straits, things are awesome for you readers. Why?

Because in lieu of sparkly, witty conversation, I’m giving you free stuff. Swag. Loot. Booty.

Yeah, I thought you’d perk up.

I’ll send out a signed copy of Enclave… and one of Dan’s books. Probably the first one. Unless you’ve already read it. Then you get to pick it. But it has to be one of Dan’s books, okay? Crap, I’m down to 12%. The cave is really cold.

I’ll see you tomorrow to pick a couple of winners.

To be considered for the giveaway, reply to this post and answer the following question:  What book are you reading now and how do you like it?

The prizes will go to commenters chosen at random.  Good luck!

Dan and I have prepared a short explanation for them of what restaurants they should visit and why. (Because clearly we’re here to entertain you. And ourselves. And the aliens. ‘Nuff said.)

Ann’s favorite restaurant:

There’s a restaurant in my neighborhood I really like called Fonda del Claustro, which roughly means Inn of the Cloister. What’s an inn? A place people spend the night. No, you can’t sleep at the restaurant. A cloister is a place where nuns live. No, there are no nuns in the restaurant. Unless they’re eating there. But there usually aren’t any nuns. In any event, they serve delicious, typical Mexican fare. I love the chiles rellenos myself. Those are stuffed chile peppers; they can be full of either meat or cheese. Usually, you get one of each. I also love their squash soup, which is better than it sounds. It’s a gourd, boiled with spices (these are plants that make the food taste better) and other veggies, like mushrooms. Those are, uhm, fungus. No, seriously. I’m not kidding. Oh boy. You should probably just come with me and try some of the food. Do you have any allergies…?

Dan’s favorite restaurant:

One of my favorite restaurants is also Mexican, which is–well, I should explain that Mexico is a country of humans on the planet Earth, and their food is very good and pretty popular all over the US–which is my country–and anyway, they tend to use a lot of tortillas and meats and seasonings in their cooking, and–wait. Maybe I should explain what tortillas are first? Or meat? Do you aliens even have physical bodies, or is it like those energy beings who always showed up in Star Trek? Except now I have to explain what Star Trek is: okay, there’s thing called television, where we can watch people acting (which means pretending something which isn’t true), and in one of these pretend things they pretended to talk to pretend energy aliens all the time, which is a lot of layers of untruth involved in something about which I just asked you if it was true, which doesn’t make any sense at all. So really what I’m trying to say is that we have bodies made of meat that require nourishment, and sometimes we kill other bodies made of meat and heat them up and eat them with ground vegetable matter, and I when I put it like that it doesn’t sound very good to me either. Trust me, just try it, okay? And stop asking so many dang questions.

Hey, I just realized our names rhyme. Maybe we’ll do our next post in rhyming cant. I realize the excitement is slaying you all. How would you describe your favorite eatery to our alien overlords??

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Since I’ve included 10 pictures in this slideshow, that means this post is practically a short story. Right?! At any rate, it should help you get to know me a little better. Comment away on the things I love and tell me about what you love, too. Sorry about the technical difficulties. For some reason, my slideshow isn’t showing up. I’ll do a top 10 list instead.

10. exploding cars
9. zombies
8. kittehs!
7. fight scenes
6. tacos
5. kissing in the rain
4. car chases
3. Christopher Eccleston as Doctor Who
2. Emo music
1. reading

AA: I think my favorite trope in fantasy (or romance for that matter) is heroine in man-drag. There’s just something irresistible about a girl pretending to be a boy and being treated as such. When the book has a romantic element, you get the awkward, uncomfortable moments of awareness, where the hero is becoming confused about his sexuality, because otherwise, why is he feeling flashes of attraction for his squire or his classmate or whatever. Tamora Pierce may have started this trend with her Alanna books. If there was anything like that before, I’m not aware of it. I’m going to attempt my own version of this with the epic fantasy novel I have in progress. It’s just such a fun trope to read (and write) because you can explore a side of relationships that you wouldn’t ordinarily see from a feminine perspective.

DW: Pierce may have been the first to use it in fantasy, but the tropes been around forever–Shakespeare made heavy use of it in a lot of his comedies. And while of aspects of the trope are fun to play with, it really starts to grate when you see how often lazier aspects get used and reused. For example: a man disguised as a woman will be better at being a woman than any actual woman in the story; the same goes for women dressed as men. Consider the movie Some Like It Hot, where the two men dressed as women are more popular, more successful, and get hit on by other men far more than any of the real women. Viola in Twelfth Night is more successful in drag than any of the story’s men. In fact, I’d be surprised to hear of a story in which the cross-dressing character is NOT portrayed as the shining example of the gender they’re pretending to be.

AA: I’d never thought of that, but it’s a good point. I suppose the reason that happens is because the character who is in gender-disguise is the protagonist, and authors tend not to write bumbling idiots — with a few notable exceptions, of course. I do think that’s probably an underused device, however.

DW: Before we totally leave the trope of cross-gender disguises, after my last comment I actually thought of a counter-example: The Bone Doll’s Twin by Lynn Flewelling. A girl is born at the beginning of the book and then magically disguised as a boy to keep her from being identified as the child of prophecy and subsequently assassinated. It’s a twist on the trope because she grows up thinking she’s a boy, and while it doesn’t come up often, when it does it’s never helpful–the other boys laugh at her for playing with dolls, and so on. Very interesting, and one of my favorite horror/fantasy combos.

Now, on to a new trope. One of my favorites is what’s called the Xanatos Gambit, named for the villain of the Gargoyles cartoon. Xanatos would always come up with a dastardly plan, the heroes would foil it, and then Xanatos would laugh and reveal that the heroes’ interference was part of his plan all along. You can see this in other places as well, like in Die Hard, when the FBI shuts off the power to the building, which ends up being exactly what the thieves needed to steal all their money.

So what’s your favorite trope?

(That’s Spanish for So long and thanks for all the fish!) I pay homage to the awesome Douglas Adams. It tickles me to see my books next to his on the shelves and makes me sad that he won’t be writing more. I did hear that his widow has asked Eoin Colfer to write more Hitchhiker books, so I’ll be interested in those.

Anyhow, I’ve really enjoyed being a guest here at Borders and I thank Morgan for his hospitality. I have a couple of winners to announce.

LOU, you won; now you must choose between CHICKS IN CHAINMAIL (edited by Esther Friesner) & GHOST by John Ringo. Google those titles, and then email me your pick & mailing information.