Babel Clash

Advice for my beginning writer self? Okay. You asked for it…

Read. As much as you can, whenever you can, whatever you can, read. Read outside your comfort zone. Read books you know you’re going to dislike. Read books you know you’re going to love. Read books you remember reading and loving five years ago but can’t quite remember all the details of. Read non-fiction and fiction and books on history written from both sides of the inevitable ideological divide. Read books you don’t quite understand, take notes about the books they reference, and read those, too, until things start making sense. Read books aimed at children and adults and men and women and dog lovers and cat lovers and people who really, really care about the history of chess. Learn to read while you walk, while you go to the bathroom, while you brush your teeth, and while you’re riding every known form of public transit. You want to write? Now read.

Write. As much as you can, whenever you can, whatever you can, write. It doesn’t matter if you’re jotting fragments on napkins and bits of dialogue on the back of math tests; what matters is that you’re writing, you’re putting words down on paper, you’re exercising muscles you’re going to need so badly later that I can’t even begin to prepare you. Write things you’re passionate about. Write things you couldn’t care less about. And write it different ways! I learned things about writing from working on a typewriter that I didn’t learn from working longhand or on a computer. That means you can learn that way, too. If someone gives you the opportunity to write in cuneiform, take it. Every little bit helps when you’re trying to find a voice that you can call your own.

Do things. They say “write what you know,” and while I don’t quite consider that a religious commandment the way that some people seem to, the fact is, it’s easier and more believable when you’re writing about things you can actually remember experiencing. Go to amusement parks. Ride rickety carnival rides and try to convince yourself that the insurance hasn’t been allowed to lapse. Wander through creepy cornfields in the middle of the night being chased by men with chainsaws. Milk venomous reptiles. Stay awake for six days straight. Ride a freight train to Canada. Enroll a duck in a community college Marine Biology program. The more you do, the more you’ll be able to write about with believable authority.

Let people edit you, and learn to actually listen to their suggestions, rather than screaming NO NO NO YOU’RE WRONG MY BABY IS PERFECT AND ALSO YOU SMELL LIKE FEET. Sometimes they will be wrong, but you know what? Sometimes, you’ll be wrong, too. Sometimes, like the parent who watches her small child feed hamsters into a blender and says “She’s so creative!” rather than “She’s a budding sociopath!”, you’re going to be wrong about your own story. Learning to listen to people when they tell you that is going to help you grow so, so much as a writer, and it’s going to make this process so, so much smoother. Not easier. Nothing can do that. But smoother.

The internet is forever. Remember this. Any time you think you might forget it, any time you think “hey, it would be totally fun to post inappropriate comments about someone using my real name” or “hey, pictures of my piercings won’t ever come back to haunt me,” remember that the INTERNET is FOREVER. Tattoo it on the palm of your left hand if you have to, because the internet? Is forever. If you actually manage to become a published author (which you’ll hopefully do, since I’m your future self, and I don’t feel like erasing myself via paradox), people will magically find everything you ever posted that you don’t want found, so try to minimize what’s out there for them to mine.

Read the submission guidelines, in detail, always.

Trust me.

See? No Care Bears involved in the advice! How about you, Devon? Got any memos you wish you’d received when you were still fresh and shiny?

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