Versus, Or Our Love Of Teams
by hollyblack on Jan.05, 2011, under Holly Black and Scott Westerfeld
One of the most interesting things I’ve learned from editing ZOMBIES VS. UNICORNS is that we, as people, love to take sides. We love a team. From romantic choices (Edward vs. Jacob) to seemingly absurdist rivalries (pirates vs. ninjas) to desserts (cake vs. pie) to actual sports teams, contextualizing anything in adversarial terms seems to bring out in people a desire to convince others of one side’s true superiority.
Once I got Simon & Schuster employees to debate which was better – Team Simon or Team Schuster. I was surprised by their passionate response. I had totally been joking when I presented the question, but it quickly became an energetic discussion.
One thing that I love about co-editing the ZOMBIES VS. UNICORNS anthology is that it is absolutely a real rivalry between people passionately committed to their sides, but at the same time the two sides are so nonsensically related to one another that the rivalry is kind of funny all by itself. Both things — that the debate makes no sense and that we are serious about it — are true at the same time.
And just like all other people caught by the lure of one thing versus another, I take my side (unicorn!) pretty seriously. I don’t like zombies. At all. I have a complicated personal story involving a boy with a mohawk, Night of the Living Dead, my little sister and me being totally terrified that I can point to as the moment I realized that zombies were the one monster I was never going to like.
And I have loved unicorns ever since reading Peter Beagle’s THE LAST UNICORN. Maybe before that. So, yeah, I want people to see the true superiority of my side — in fact, I always want to argue for my side, whatever we’re talking about.
So, I challenge you, dear readers, to come up with things to set opposite one another. They can make sense or they can be totally nonsensical. Scott and I will pick one and debate it later this week!
Here are mine:
Team Hardback vs Team Paperback
Team Werelion vs Team Regular Lion
Team Pants vs. Team No Pants
Team Coffee vs. Team Tea
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January 5th, 2011 on 2:24 pm
I’m Team Unicorn, for similar reason. Your other ones? The ones I have a strong opinion about are Team Paperback, because they fit better in purses, and Team Tea, cause it takes way too much sugar to make coffee taste not-nasty.
January 5th, 2011 on 2:43 pm
1. Team Applesauce or Team Sour Cream: this is a very potato latke centric theme with the obvious response of Team Applesauce, but it came to mind first.
2. Team Ketchup or Team Mustard
3. Team Ginger or Team Maryanne
4. Team Flannel or Team Silk
For the record I am ketchup, Maryanne and flannel but ymmv. I prefer unicorns, tea, no pants, paperbacks and werelions ( but were hedgehogs beat all other weres).
January 5th, 2011 on 2:49 pm
I am currently hosting a “team brownie edges” and “team edge haters” debate on my twitter feed.
Some people actually prefer the MIDDLE of brownie pans. Bleck.
January 5th, 2011 on 2:53 pm
Team Skis vs. Team Waterskis
Team Road Trip vs. Team Cruise Ship
Team Shoes vs. Team Barefoot
Team Cats vs. Team Dogs
Team Cats & Dogs vs. Team Bizarre Pets
January 5th, 2011 on 3:18 pm
1. Team Real Books vs Team E-readers
2. Team Fountain Pen vs Team Ballpoint
3. Team Over vs Team Under (the toilet paper wars)
Have fun!
January 5th, 2011 on 4:41 pm
Team Ravus vs. Team Roiben
Team Cure vs. Team Smiths
Team Horde vs. Team Alliance
January 5th, 2011 on 5:34 pm
This is great!
As for a few selections from me for a rivalry -
1) Team Transformers Vs. Team Go-Bots
Team Rat Pack Vs. Team Brat Pack
2) Team Star Wars Vs. Team Lord of the Rings (or Star Trek if you want to go the easy route)
3) Team Pixar Vs. Team Dreamworks
4) Team Marvel Vs. Team DC
5) Team Pepsi Vs. Team Coke
6) Team CoCo Vs. Team Leno
7) Team Plain M&Ms vs. Team Peanut M&Ms
9) Team Rolling Stones Vs. Team Beatles
10) Team Steampunk Vs. Team Urban Fantasy
January 5th, 2011 on 5:35 pm
And my apologies for turning my #8 selection into a smiley-face….silly Internet and your emoticons!
January 5th, 2011 on 5:45 pm
Team ankle sock Vs team crew sock.
January 5th, 2011 on 5:47 pm
I once managed to get my LJ friends into a rather epic fight over Crunchy vs Creamy Peanut Butter.
January 5th, 2011 on 6:04 pm
I am stunned by the strong opinions I have about these. I am totally Team Crunchy Peanut Butter, Team Ankle Socks, Team DC, Team Barefoot and Team Peanut M&Ms.
January 5th, 2011 on 6:12 pm
You got me.
Team Mouse Vs. Team Touchpad
Team Pixie Vs. Team Nixie
Team Earphones Vs. Team Headphones Vs. Team Speakers That Annoy Everyones On The Bus
Team Plain Gloves Vs. Team Fingerless Gloves Vs. Team No Gloves At All
‘Tis an all-out war!
January 5th, 2011 on 6:23 pm
Team Daphne vs. Team Velma.
January 5th, 2011 on 7:02 pm
Team soda vs. Team pop
January 5th, 2011 on 8:12 pm
Team Ski v. Team Snowboard
Team Video Games v. Team TV
Team David Tennant Doctor v. Team Matt Smith Doctor
I am on teams snowboard, tv, and Matt Smith Doctor.
Bow ties are cool.
Unfortunately, I have to go against Maureen Johnson and be on team pants, because it’s just so cold otherwise. D:
I’m also on Team Unicorn, Team Tea (coffee is so gross), Team Paperback (ONLY because a paperback does, indeed, fit better in a purse), and I don’t know what a werelion is… Should I know that?
January 5th, 2011 on 8:53 pm
Heehee… this list was fun to write.
Team Time Travelers VS Team Space Travelers
Team Boys Dressed as Girls VS Team Girls Dressed as Boys
Team VS Group
Aliens VS Cowboys
Griffin VS Pegasus
Medusa VS The Grim Reaper
Wizards VS Vampires
Minotaur VS Jabberwock
Robot Abe Lincoln VS Alien Abe Lincoln
John Wayne Vs Chuck Norris
Team Bonnie & Clyde VS Team Thelma & Louise
January 5th, 2011 on 9:21 pm
Go team unicorn!
Team Cupcake vs. Team Egg Roll
Team Snow White vs. Team Rose Red
Team White Cat vs. Team Smallest Dog in the World That Was in a Nut
January 6th, 2011 on 12:56 am
Team fairy vs. Team unicorn
Team cupcake vs. Team cake
Team uniform vs. Team free dress
January 6th, 2011 on 1:05 am
oooh one more okay a few more
Team hairbrush vs. Team comb
Team music vs. Team art
Team rome vs. Team greece
January 6th, 2011 on 3:22 am
Best post on Babel Clash so far.
January 6th, 2011 on 8:43 am
Team Tom vs. Team Jerry
Team Wile E Coyote vs. Team Roadrunner
Team Bugs Bunny vs. Team Elmer Fudd
Team Cat vs. Team Pepe Le Pew
Team Sylvester vs. Team Tweety Bird
I admit my loyalties changed constantly as a child, depending on who seemed to be losing (I was always for the underdog). Though I never liked Tweety Bird. He was always so smug and confident.
January 6th, 2011 on 10:36 am
Dare I say it?
Team Clanker Vs. Team Darwinist?
January 6th, 2011 on 12:28 pm
Team “I read books really quickly so I know what happens at the end” vs. Team “I read books slowly so to enjoy them more and not miss anything”
January 6th, 2011 on 1:58 pm
I have one that I guess we can’t debate because it is my suggestion, but I believe would be hotly contested:
Team Read The End First vs. Team Never Do That
January 6th, 2011 on 3:48 pm
I’m team Unicorn. I don’t mind zombies all that much, but unicorns are so much better. Also Team TEA! I like coffee (barley) but tea is amazing. Team no pants (SKIRT POWER). Team werelion, sounds really cool.
January 10th, 2011 on 2:24 am
ooh i like that “team ravus vs. team roiben” lol
team fruit vs team vegetable
team mp3 vs team vinyl
team geek vs team dork
team chocolate vs team vanilla
January 11th, 2011 on 2:04 am
Elvis vs. Beatles
Vampires vs. Werewolves
Star Wars vs. Star Trek
Loving this thread, btw. We’re thinking of doing a Dragon*Con YA Lit “versus” panel every year, since zombies vs. unicorns went over so big last year.
January 11th, 2011 on 7:51 am
Team Red vs. Team Green
Team White vs. Team Black vs. Team Grey
Team Yellow vs. Team Purple
Team Orange vs. Team Blue
Team Maroon vs. Team Veal
Team Chocolate vs. Team Vanilla
Team Potter vs. Team Edward vs. Team Voldemort vs. Team Jacob
Team Beach vs. Team Mountains
Team Slushie vs. Team Ice Cream vs. Team Popsicle
Team Frappucino vs. Team Hot Chocolate
Team Star Wars vs. Team Star Trek
Team Pen vs. Team Pencil
Team Dell vs. Team Apple vs. Team Sony
Team Fire vs. Team Ice
Team Track vs. Team Field
Team Friends vs. Team Family
Team iTunes vs. Team Realplayer
Team Rock vs. Team Pop
Team Band vs. Team Artist
Haha, I can think of so many of these.
January 14th, 2011 on 8:56 pm
Team Facebook vs. Team MySpace (FB, duh)
Team Rocky Road vs. Team Neapolitan (eew, yuck strawberry)
Team John Tyree vs. Team Tim
Team Band vs. Team Choir
Team Just Friends vs. Team Something More
Team Sam the Cooking Guy vs. Team Raechel Ray
Team Edmond vs. Team Peter
Team Dora vs. Team Kai-lan
January 16th, 2011 on 2:13 pm
(Go Team Unicorn! Not just a metaphor, but also a magical creature! And Team Paperback! Because they’re cheaper and read just as well!)
Team Library vs. Team Bookstore
Team Reread good books vs. Team Never Reread
Team Roiben (Tithe) vs. Team Ash (Iron King) (Apparently, this is a hot debate, though it’s pretty decided for me….)
Team Sci-fi vs. Team Fantasy
Team Rue vs. Team Kaye
March 9th, 2011 on 6:07 pm
Team Time Travelers VS Team Space Travelers…OR why choose at all? The Doctor doesn’t so why should I?
May 10th, 2011 on 1:26 pm
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