In a sense, in writing this blog as a Borders employee I am getting paid to do physical activity. And nothing worries us professional athletes more than the prospect of injury.

Now, in terms of the more common things that can happen to you on a soccer field, there’s no doubt that the injury di tutti injuries is tearing the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) in your knee. Fortunately, that did not happen to me.

What did happen is that I was changing direction with the ball and planted my foot—with just two minutes to go in a game we were winning by four goals, mind you—and one of the bonier members of the opposing team came flying in like it was the Champions League final and buried his knee in the meat of my left thigh.

“I say, old man,” I’m pretty sure I remember myself commenting calmly, “only that did sting a bit.” I swore—I mean swear! Ahem.

Anyway, let’s review the symptoms of a thigh bruise:

• You have pain in the middle of your thigh and have difficulty walking or running. Check.
• You may have difficulty bending or straightening your leg or lifting your knee. Check.
• An area of your thigh may be swollen and discolored. Check.

Let there be no contusion: The treatment includes a steady program of rest, ice, compression, elevation, and watching Point Break on Encore.

Apparently, these beauties come in one of three degrees. I’m not sure if mine is second or third, but suffice it to say that I’m moving about with all the speed and grace of a bit actor in a zombie flick.

What this means for my date with the shuttle run I can’t say. I wonder if I can log “Adjusting Cushions” in the Presidential Fitness Challenge…

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